Missing You

No words I write can ever say
How much I miss you every day.
As time goes by, the loneliness grows;
How I miss you, nobody knows!

I think of you in silence,
I often speak your name,
But all I have are memories
And photos in a frame.

No one knows my sorrow,
No one sees me weep,
But the love I have for you
Is in my heart to keep.

I've never stopped loving you--
I know I never will;
Deep inside my heart,
You are with me still.

Heartaches in this world are many
But mine is worse than any.
My heart still aches as I whisper low,
"I love you and I miss you so."

The things we feel so deeply
Are often the hardest to say,
But I just can't keep quiet any more,
So I'll tell you anyway.

There is a place in my heart
That no one else can fill;
I love you so, my precious girl,
And I always will.

~Author unknown~



My beautiful daughter Deborah was born at 10.43 a.m. on 7 December 1984 at the Queen Mothers Hospital, Glasgow, two minutes before her twin brother Gordon. She never let him forget that either and took great delight in telling everyone and talking about her wee brother...those two minutes were always very important to her.

I had been told at my last scan that I was having two boys so it was a lovely surprise to be told I had a daughter and a son. One of each, it was perfect. My older son, Kenneth, was 8 when Deborah and Gordon were born and he was over the moon at having a sister and brother. Even though they were born early the only problem was getting Gordon to take a bottle, it took him quite a few days to get the hang of it and I took them both home 10 days later.

From the minute Deborah was born she had a mind of her own and let everyone know it. Even as a baby she was strong willed and determined, and that never changed throughout her life.

Deborah was a really good baby, she took her feeds no problem and slept all through the night from she was about 3 months old. One thing she wouldn't have anything to do with was a dummy, no matter how often I tried she just spat it straight out, she preferred her thumb! I always knew when Deborah was tired, she'd suck her thumb and twirl her hair and 2 minutes later she was sound asleep.

She was the first to work out how to climb out of her cot and then taught Gordon how to do it. When she was about 2 she discovered crayons and felt pens and persuaded Gordon to help her redecorate their bedroom, something that didn't go down too well with me! She looked at me with her big brown eyes and with a big smile said "wasn't me mum!" I heard those 3 words hundreds of times over the years.

Deborah was such a lovely, happy go lucky, mischievous little girl who had no fear of anything. She'd try anything once, usually with Gordon in tow. She'd lead him in so many pranks and get up to so much mischief, and she could wrap everyone around her little finger. When she was older and had gotten into trouble, even grounding didn't always work she'd just climb out the window!! She had no fear of anything, nothing fazed her. I could write a book about all the things she got up to, and I probably don't know the half of them!

She was a bit of a tomboy, having 2 brothers probably had a lot to do with that...anything the boys did Deborah would do too. I've lost count of the number of scraped knees she got climbing up and down trees.

Deborah and Gordon were always together, they would play happily for hours.

They had their moments though when they would fight, Gordon still has the scars to prove it! Most of Deborah's scars were as a result of all the scrapes she got into.

One time that I remember was when she was practicing hand-stands, she put her hand down on glass so I took her to the doctor just to make sure there was no glass left in the cut but he decided it would be best to go to the Children's Hospital just to make sure. Unfortunately when the doctor was examining her, he punctured the blood vessel and what turned out to be a routine hospital visit ended up in an emergency operation and an overnight stay.

Right from when they were very young Deborah and Gordon always seemed to know what the other one was getting up to when they weren't together. I'd ask them how they knew this or that had happened to the other one and the answer they gave me was always the same "it's a twin thing mum".
I miss hearing that so much.

Just before starting school she decided she would go and visit her uncle and talked one of her little friends into going with her. The fact that her uncle lived a bus ride away didn't matter one little bit to Deborah. I remember looking out the window just to make sure they were still playing where I could see them and saw Deborah and Craig disappear onto a bus. Her older brother, Kenneth, ran like the wind after the bus and then Craig's mum chased them in her car. When she was brought home she said "mum, you didn't need to worry about me I would have asked a policeman to cross us over the road". This from a 4 year old!

She went to Linnvale Nursery school for nearly 2 years which she loved, then at just over 4 years old she went on to Linnvale Primary School, Clydebank. She was forever getting up to something but those big brown eyes and warm smile got her out of trouble many times. Deborah had a really bubbly personality even at that age and she was full of fun and mischief.

She had started at one of the local dance schools when she was 3 years old and this would turn out to be her greatest passion in life.

One of her first performances was the lead in the school show of "The Gingerbread Man" when she was 7. She loved taking part in all the school shows. When her dance school's annual show came around she would always get so excited when the rehearsals started and couldn't wait to be on stage.

When it came to school summer holidays, Deborah and her friends would put on shows in our back gardens just about every day. They would practice in the grassy area in front of our house, I loved to stand at the window and watch them. They had so much fun, all you could hear was giggling and laughing. Deborah always loved to make up dances.

Deborah lived to dance, she would dance everywhere...in the supermarket, walking along the street, at bus stops and probably in her sleep! She just couldn't keep her feet still.

She went on to attend Braidfield High School where she was a member of the school netball team, she loved playing netball and I got told that P.E. was the only class she was never late for! Deborah didn't really like the academic side of school although she did well in her exams.

She went through a stage of wanting to iron her hair, and as she didn't have straighteners I'd explained to her how to do it cause it was something I used to do when I was young, but unfortunately she forgot to put paper between her hair and the iron! 10 minutes later we were off on a trip to the hairdressers to get her hair cut.

Deborah also started to help out her older brother..for a price. She started to do his ironing and also make his lunch up for him. It took him a long time to realise she was only ironing the front of his work shirts and t shirts! He'd come home at night and get on to her about it, she'd just smile at him, and get paid. There were also times when she'd made his lunch for him and he'd go to eat them only to find his sandwiches were just 4 slices of dry bread. She still got paid though! Deborah had Kenneth well and truly wrapped around her little finger. They were extremely close when they were younger, she was his little shadow and he had all the time in the world for her. They had their fair share of arguments too, and boy could they argue, but they got themselves sorted out.

She could be a bit stroppy, stubborn and dogmatic. She always wanted to have the last word, but that was just Deborah and I wouldn't have changed her one little bit.

Story Continued on Page 2



The Rose

Just like a beautiful, long-stemmed rose,
Her precious memory grows and grows,
Touching the hearts of all of those
she loved.

And like the fragrance of that same rose,
Her love, so sweet, still flows and flows,
Filling our lives with a warmth that shows
she's there.

So like the forever-blooming rose,
The beauty she shared eternally glows,
For deep in our hearts, each of us knows...
she lives!

~Author unknown~


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"Remembering Deborah" and are not public domain


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Song is "Tears in Heaven" by Eric Clapton