Your time here was shorter
© Pam Harvey
Than we'd wanted it to be,
And every moment you've been gone,
There's emptiness in me.
We thought we'd have a lifetime
That we could share with you.
We hoped and wished for many things
That now will not come true.
But no matter what may come our way
We'll always have one wish:
To tell you, now and evermore
How much you're loved & missed
poem may not be used without permission
Deborah left Braidfield at 15 as she had won a place at Edinburgh Telford College to study dance. She would get up every morning at 5.30 a.m. to travel through to Edinburgh for classes. She would arrive home, sometimes grabbing something to eat and then head out to her dance classes. She did this 2 or 3 times a week, no matter how tired she was from college and travelling. She loved it at college and was there for 2 years.
She loved tap, modern, disco and jazz dance but most of all she loved ballet.
A few years ago one of the segments of her dancing display was "Grease" and Deborah got the part of Rizzo. She loved the movie and would watch the video time and time again so she was really happy when her teachers decided on doing it that year. She had so much fun playing Rizzo and always used to say it was one of her favourite roles.
Deborah had also joined the local Junior Musical Society and one year the show they were doing was "Annie". We used to sit night after night playing and replaying the video so that she could get the words and steps exactly right. We both knew the songs off by heart!
She loved all sorts of music, one of her early favourites was Steps. She would watch them on t.v. and copy the dance moves until she got them perfect, then she came up with the idea of teaching me how to do them. She'd get so frustrated with me because I was hopeless at it but the two of us had great fun and more often than not we ended up in a heap on the floor helpless with laughter. She went to all their concerts when they appeared in Glasgow. Deborah would set the alarm for me to get up and I'd sit with my finger on the redial button for hours to get her tickets...while she went back to bed! Deborah also loved Karen Carpenter and Abba, I had most of their records and tapes and one by one they all disappeared into Deborah's room, she was forever singing and dancing along to them.
Deborah loved going to stay with her Aunt Fay and Uncle Mario in Italy for holidays and we had some really great times there. The place she loved the best though was Cyprus, we went there in 2000 and it was the best holiday we all had together. We stayed in Limassol and just about every night we ended up in the same bar, so that Deborah could sing karaoke! Once she got up there was no stopping her, she even had people asking her to sing with them and she never refused.
She auditioned for a show which our local council were putting on at the Millennium Dome, London in May 2000 called "Fire, Water & Steel" which showed the history of our town through dance. She got accepted as one of the dancers and we went down to London where the dance group put on two shows in the Dome. They also put on the show in our Town Hall a while after getting back from London so that local people could see it. I have the video of the performance but still haven't been able to watch it.
Earlier last year she travelled to London to audition for "Mamma Mia", I hated the thought of her travelling all that way on her own but she was determined, from a really young age that all she wanted to do was dance and she told me that no way was a train journey to London and spending the night outside the theatre going to put her off. So off she went. Her ambition was to dance in musicals on the London stage and on Broadway. Last summer Deborah auditioned for Dancepoint in Glasgow and was successful in getting accepted, she was so happy and excited at what could follow by being part of Dancepoint.
Deborah should have started classes at Dancepoint the week after she died.
The last show Deborah was in was last summer and when she got the video we sat and watched it together. It sits gathering dust now, I hope that one day I will be able to watch it and smile but its too painful just now.
We used to have all her dance videos but one by one they got lost, given out to friends for them to see and not getting them back. Hopefully one day I'll be able to get copies of them all.
Deborah died very suddenly, without warning, on 12th September 2004.
I was and still am so very proud of Deborah, she was a wonderfully talented dancer and many people have told me how much she lit up the stage for them, their eyes were immediately drawn to her when she danced. Most of all I am proud that she is my daughter.
I believe through her determination she'd have gone on to having the future on stage she always dreamed of. A future that has now so sadly been taken away from her.
Deborah packed so much into her 19 years, she was always on the go...to dancing classes, teaching the wee ones at her dance school, musical theatre, playing netball, having fun and going out with her friends.
Kenneth and Gordon love and miss Deborah tremendously and they desperately wish their sister was still here. I wish I could make it happen for them. The pain I see in their eyes and the heartache they carry with them each and every day tears me apart. I'm their mum, and mums are supposed to make everything better. If only.
Because Deborah made friends very easily she had many, many friends who I know love and miss her very much.
Deborah was a lovely, happy go lucky, chatterbox and absolutely full of fun. A beautiful young girl with a brilliant and very outgoing personality, a really bubbly, vivacious girl. She was kind and caring, if you needed her she was there and she'd give you her last penny if you needed it. She was real good at making you laugh, she was funny, and fun to be around.
She touched the hearts and lives of so many people of all ages.
She had a heart of gold.
There are no words to describe the overwhelming grief and pain I now live with in my heart and I know the continuous longing to have my daughter back will never, ever leave me.
I love and miss Deborah more than any words can ever say, she is always in my thoughts and there isn't a day goes by that I pray she was still here. I'd give anything and everything in a heartbeat if I could wake up from this horrendous nightmare and see her walk in the door.
Instead I have to go on living without my lovely daughter and I'm forced to walk this journey until I can kiss, cuddle and be with Deborah again.
I am so very proud that I am Deborah's mum.
Contents of these pages belong to
Just the average family,
We didn't ask for more.
Then life was changed forever
With that knock upon our door.
This awful thing had happened
And none of us knew why.
You were never coming back again
And we didn't say goodbye.
Our world just fell to pieces,
We cried in disbelief.
We had to stick together
To overcome our grief.
We'll never understand it
It all seems too unfair,
We wish we'd hear that knock again
And see you standing there.
"Remembering Deborah" and are not public domain
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Song is "Tears in Heaven" by Eric Clapton